tismejenn's Xanga

Smart Car = Urkel Mobile

Thu, 29 Jan 2009 04:16:46 GMT

I kept wondering why the Smart Cars seemed so funny to me. Then I finally realized that it was because I was seeing a real life Urkel Mobile. I know, Urkel drived a BMW Isetta, but they look pretty similar to me. Back in the day, Urkel's car was supposed to be a joke, so now I laugh every time I see a Smart Car drive by.

another funny day at work

Wed, 14 Nov 2007 04:08:14 GMT

So I work with a bunch of scientists, and they're pretty serious most of the time. Today I went to a department lunch meeting where two teams were going to be introduced to the group. While waiting in line for lunch, I saw one of the guys from the team and said, "Are you ready for the introduction? Your team probably has something great because you're setting the bar for the entire department. Do you guys have a song and dance ready?" His response was, "well, if we have a song and dance presentation, I think I've missed a lot of rehearsals..." Hahaha. I didn't think that a middle aged quiet asian scientist would have such a quick witted response. Because after he said that, all I could do was picture a team of 12 serious scientists practicing a song and dance in the privacy of their lab...just down the hall from my lab.

International Team

Tue, 13 Nov 2007 04:24:14 GMT

My co-workers are from all over the world, and sometimes my conversations with them cause me to think about whether my actions/comments are culturally Chinese or American, and sometimes my conversations with them just make me laugh.

One day for lunch I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. My co-worker exclaims, "Why are you eating a breakfast food for lunch? Peanut butter and jelly is only for breakfast!" I had to find the nearest non-asian American and ask whether he had PB&J for lunch growing up, and he did, which confirmed it as an American custom. I guess Europeans don't eat PB&J for lunch. Another day I brought layered jello. Apparently that's a Chinese American thing.

Sometimes it's just a language issue, which results in tons of hilarity.

Like one time I asked my co-worker what he did over the weekend. He said, "my wife and I bought a crib." My response was, "you bought a house?! That's great!" He said, "no, we bought a crib for the baby. Jenn, sometimes you are really strange." Hahaha. He's Swiss.

Another time he asked me to do something for him, and I said, "No prob bob." His response: "No, no...I do not go by Bob. Only by Roberto." "No, you don't understand, I say that to everyone." "You call everyone Bob?!"

Today another co-worker (Vietnamese) brought a bunch of candy from home because she didn't want her son to eat all of it. I dug through it and pulled one out exclaiming, "Yay! I found a Fruit by the Foot!" My Indian co-worker's response was, "That's disgusting! Who would try to market that! No one would eat anything made by a foot." "No, it's the measurement foot. A better translation would be Fruit by the Meter, because it's about a meter long." Hahaha.

Monday, August 13, 2007

Mon, 13 Aug 2007 04:20:53 GMT

Today at church we had a guest speaker Rev. Fred Pei, and he had a pretty cool message.

He said, "May we have the hands of Martha, the heart of Mary, and the life of Lazarus."

His message was a prayer for the church that we would serve like Martha, love like Mary, and live a saved life like Lazarus. I missed a lot because Rev. Pei was really excited while he was preaching and I don't feel like everything was translated to English. Even though I didn't get all of it because of the language barrier, his excitement transcended all languages. It's a very powerful prayer for today's Church.

Last Night in China

Fri, 24 Nov 2006 13:42:16 GMT

Well, I'm packing and getting ready to leave early tomorrow morning.

Some other cool things that have happened:

Fun at the Forbidden City:

Beijing Duck in is different in China. Rather than having bread, you eat it with these thin rice tortillas:

Taro Pie at Mc Donalds. Yum!

Mel's friends cooking a genuine Chinese meal for me:

Thanksgiving dinner that we had tonight with Mel's team (pics to come)

Going to go home soon. Fresh air, here I come!

Chinese American in China

Wed, 22 Nov 2006 07:38:26 GMT

I’m in China!!! I’m staying with Mel, and over the weekend we went to visit Aimee.

I’ve been here for a week and a half, and I only have a few more days to experience everything. As y’all know, I don’t speak any Mandarin (actually, I know the numbers one through five), but I have a Chinese face, which kind of puts me in a difficult situation wherever I go. The one phase that I learned is “Wo ting bu dong” which means “I hear you, but I don’t understand”. Normally if someone asks me something in Chinese, I just turn to Mel, hoping that my glance to her will deflect all questions away from me. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve been yelled at in Chinese, but it doesn’t affect me much. When we go shopping, I try to whisper to Mel to ask for the price in Chinese. Aimee helped a ton in bargaining. I know that if I ask in English, the price automatically goes up at least 400%. While attempting to bargain in English, a woman actually said to me, “How about that price. You can afford it.” What nerve. I walked out of that store. I tried to learn all of the numbers at Aimee’s, but in reality shop owners speak so quickly that I accidentally respond with a blank stare and give away the fact that I don’t really understand.

Things I’ve Learned During My Trip (in no particular order):

· Haze is not the same as fog:

One day in Mel’s class it smelled really smoky…so smoky, in fact, that my eyes burned slightly and my nose, throat, and ears hurt. I mentioned to Mel that I thought someone was smoking downstairs and that the smoke was wafting up the stairwell and into the classroom. She said, “Uh…nobody is smoking. That’s just how the air smells.” I totally didn’t believe her, but when I walked outside and it smelled the same everywhere, I finally understood. The haze had come to ground level, and everything was a little yellow and blurry. I still have a somewhat difficult time breathing, and my throat hurts at times. It was worse in Beijing. Mel and Aimee said that it’s the China cough that visitors get when they stay in the area for a while.

· Toddlers wear pants with a slit in the bottom:

I thought the kid had ripped his pants, but I was informed that having a slit in the rear is cheaper than buying diapers. They can just squat and go wherever they feel like. When I mentioned this to my mom in an email, she just advised me to watch my step when walking behind a toddler.

· Beijing Duck is different:

The duck is not as salty and rather than white buns, they have a thin rice tortilla that you roll the duck in. It’s quite yummy, but I like the hoisin sauce better at home because it’s a bit sweeter.

· All automobiles smell like exhaust:

Whenever I’m in a taxi, or on the bus, it always smells like exhaust…whether the window is open or not. It just gives me a headache.

· Chinese people are really nice:

Coming to China, I expected people to be like the old ladies in Chinatown, where everyone minds their own business and shoves others out of the way. In reality, everyone is friendly and really chatty, whether in a taxi, on a train, or in a store. Everyone we’ve met has been readily available to help us, and we’ve never had to ask twice. They even work with us through broken Chinese to help us out. Mel always has to explain the whole American born thing, but I don’t think they really understand.

· People Everywhere:

I didn’t understand how many people were in China until I saw it myself. It doesn’t matter what time it is, or where you are. There are people everywhere…and I don’t understand a word they’re saying.

· Traffic Rules:

What rules? Dude, there are lanes painted, but people can’t seem to drive in between them. There are bikes everywhere, and they just weave in and out. The buses drive straight no matter what, and there have been too many close calls to count. I pray going into every intersection, wince in the middle of it, and give a sigh of relief when I make it across.

· World’s supply of concrete is being drained:

All of the buildings here are made of concrete. While on the train, I enjoyed watching the landscape go by, and all I saw was construction. They’re getting ready for the Olympics even though it’s a couple of years away. I asked a local about the apartments that are being built and he said that most of the buildings are empty because people can’t afford it. Someone mentioned that all the construction in China is depleting the world’s supply of concrete. I wonder if it’s true.

· The difference between the words kuai vs man

Mel, Aimee, and I rode this chute thing down from the Great Wall. Aimee was the only one who had done it before, and she warned me that there are people at every turn saying man, which means slow. Mel and Aimee encouraged me to go first, so I went. The people at the turns were saying kuai something or other. Of course it was in Chinese, so I yelled back, “I don’t understand you! I’m going as slow as I can.” Then I yelled to Mel behind me, “What does kuai mean?” She couldn’t hear me because she was too far behind. When I got off the cart, I saw that Mel, Aimee, and a bunch of Asian business men were piled up behind me. Apparently kuai means faster. Oops.

· A famous guy looks like my dad when he was young:

Mel and I were watching this show and I noticed this guy that has similar features to my dad when he was young. What do you think?

· Triple bunks:

Have you ever slept in a triple bunk? Try sleeping in one on a train. It was quite an experience. Mel's on the middle bunk.

Things I’ve Been Learning

Mon, 03 Jul 2006 14:20:18 GMT

I haven’t written a real post in a while. Hopefully this will make up for some of it.

Things I learned in NJ: Embrace my lack of knowledge

I went on a business trip to NJ to take a one week Protein Purification class. Basically I was sent there to learn about a subject that all my co-workers already understood. I don’t really have a background in biochemistry, and I’m kinda behind in experimental analysis. Once I was willing to acknowledge that I didn’t understand much, I learned a whole bunch. The moment I admitted that I didn’t know anything (which was during the first day of class), others were willing to open up and share what they didn’t understand either.

Other things I learned in NJ

· I asked some of the instructors about NJ slang, and they told me that those living in NJ ask “what exit?” rather than “what area of NJ are you from?” There are only a few major highways, and stating your exit will automatically inform the other Jersey person what area you are from.

· Also I learned (rather I was reminded) that I tend to have quick wisecracking remarks when I’m really tired. In NJ, class began at 8am, so I woke up at 6am daily, which translates to 3am SF time. By the end of the week, I was really really tired. During class at the end of the week, the lab instructor began his lecture by discussing chirality. He started with an opening question, “Are any of you ambidextrous?” My quick response, “I’d give my right arm to be.” My eyes immediately widened and I put my hand over my mouth. The class mainly consisted of older professionals, and I got a few unintended laughs from my unintentional comment, and I felt really young at that moment. So, in short, when I’m tired, I need to keep my mouth shut to prevent any accidental disrespectful comments.

· In NJ they make left turns using jug handles. Left turns cannot be made from the left lane. The right lane has signs that say “All Turns”, and if you want to make a left turn, you turn right and essentially do a forced u-turn around. It was a little tricky the first time, but afterward, my co-worker and I were a-okay.

Things I’m learning from my co-workers

I’m learning a ton of technical stuff because in my group I have the least education. I work in the Research and Development Department specifically in protein isolation process development. Yeah, I know it’s a mouthful, and to reiterate the previous lesson, I’m continuing to learn to embrace my ignorance. I find that I can learn a lot more that way.
For the first time I’m experiencing what it’s like to be a minority. In my group I’m one of two Americans. The others are Swiss, Swiss/French, German, Vietnamese, Chinese, and Indian. I recognize that I’m not very cultured, and that I have very little knowledge of soccer.
My co-workers speak more than one language and most of them understand at least three. I, on the other hand, only understand English, and I’m not that good at it.
When a co-worker asks me where I’m from, that co-worker doesn’t expect me to say SF. The typical conversation goes like this:

Where are you from?

No, I mean where were you born?

No…where are your parents from?

I mean, where were they born?

SF!...Are you trying to ask about my ethnicity? I’m Chinese.

So you speak Chinese?

No.

*Confused look from the other person*

It takes a few minutes of explanation before they understand that I only look Chinese on the outside.

Working too much makes me too tired to hang out with friends after work. That sucks. I need to work less hours.

Things I’m learning about style

Karen and I have a fairly conservative style. When I find something that I like, I normally ask her, “is this cool or is this grandma?” I’m normally holding up a cardigan or a pair of closed toed shoes. Anyway, it’s an ordinary question that I customarily ask. We discuss the fine line between cool and grandma and how the current style necessitates that question. One day I was hanging out with a co-worker and I ask, “is this cool or grandma?” She turns to me, gives me a serious look and says, “Girl, you should never have to ask that question. Put that down.” Hahahaha. I thought it was hilarious cuz it’s something that I always ask. Clearly I’m losing my hip-ness. (Heehee. Maybe the word “hip” isn’t cool either)

Things I’m learning about nature

I was walking down the block and I heard some chirping coming from a bush in front of a house up ahead. When I got closer to the bush, the chirping got louder and more frantic. Suddenly I felt this weighted combing feeling drop on the back of my head. It totally startled me and I thought a pinecone had fallen on me because what else could scrape my head? However, there wasn’t a pine tree around. I looked up and saw a bird flying up toward the electricity lines and I realized that I had been attacked by a bird! Dude, what the crazy?! I often forget that I live by the park and that nature is not confined to that space.

Things I’ve been learning from Last Comic Standing

Currently I use my old school TiVo (my VCR) to record shows during the week. I get pretty tired from work, and at times I get home at 7:15pm and go to bed at 9pm. I’ve learned that switching from a union position to salary means that I switched from working four 10hr days to five 10-12hr days without OT. Watching my shows gives me some time to relax and not think, and what’s nice is that the cassette tape can only hold 6 hours so it limits how much TV I watch. Anyway, there was a recent episode of Last Comic Standing where I learned the worst/funniest curse on someone I’ve ever heard. This comedian was upset at a judge or something and looked straight into the camera and said, “I hope your next bowel movement is square!” Hahahahaha. It’s so mean, yet so funny at the same time! And now that I’ve written this, I realize that I can’t use it on my little brother. Actually, it’s so funny that I think I’m going to use it anyway. Hahaha.

*edit* It sucks when spell check can't correct for a word that is spelled right but is clearly the wrong word. Of course a little brother has to point it out. "Bowl" does not equal "bowel". It's a pretty big difference.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Wed, 07 Jun 2006 02:37:14 GMT

I know what you’re thinking…Whoa! What the crazy?! Jenn posting two days in a row!!!

Recently I’ve been reprimanded by friends for not checking my email regularly. Well, actually, I do check it regularly, it’s just that I check regularly once a week. I’ve missed dinners, hang outs, and just updates from friends in general, so I’ve learned my lesson and I’m going to try to check my email more than once a week. Let’s see how long this lasts.

Okay, back to the restroom topic. Karen and Stef brought up other public restroom questions.

Karen: another question...have you noticed toilet seatcovers have two different sides...one's shiny and the other's not as much. which side do you put down and which side do you sit on?

Stef: which way are you suppose to put the toilet seat cover on? flap side on the bottom or the top?

My answers:

Shiny vs. Matted: You know how the seat cover is folded in the dispenser, I sit on which ever side is folded inward. The side facing outside that people touch goes on the toilet side. Yah, I’m that much of a germ-a-phobe. But I don’t go so far as to use two toilet seat covers like one of my friends. **cough-Karen-cough** Heehee

Flap side: I put the flap side where the center piece hindges on the front inside of the toilet. That way when you flush, it automatically gets pulled into the toilet. And, if you look at the seat, it’s kinda shaped to fit that way.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Tue, 06 Jun 2006 03:18:17 GMT

So, during this past weekend an interesting topic came up. In a public restroom where the flushing mechanism is initiated by pressing a horizontal metal handle, do you flush by pushing the handle with your hand or by stepping on it? Okay, if you think it’s a bit personal, you don’t have to answer, but for me, I’ve always stepped on the bar. I thought everyone did. It never occurred to me that you could press the bar with your hand. I know you wash your hands right after you use the restroom anyway, but why touch the bar when you don’t have to?

This topic came up when I mentioned that my friend accidentally flushed her phone down the toilet. It fell out of her pocket while she was kick flushing the toilet. I guess that’s one negative point for flushing by stepping on the handle, but I still think it’s a lot cleaner. I’ve found, just by asking around, that guys flush with their hand more often and girls flush with their foot. One guy said that he never considered flushing using his foot because the toilet seat was up and in the way.

I know, I know…what the random? I guess it’s not your normal water cooler topic.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Tue, 27 Dec 2005 04:56:02 GMT

As usual, I had tons of laughs and entertainment at my family gatherings for Christmas. One particular conversation that I found especially hilarious was one regarding the subject of current slang. Law teaches high school math and he said that his students asked if he bumped his music and went dumb or got stupid while driving his car. He had no clue the students meant, so he just laughed it off and walked away. Sandy kindly informed him that the phrases meant something like letting yourself go while dancing. I brought up the word hyphy, a word that is a combination of the words hyper and fly and means getting riled up over nothing. Law said that the word sounded like grammatical punctuation, like a sentence needs an extra comma and a hyphy. He suggested that the punctuation would be used to combine an oxymoron. Non-stop should be separated by a hyphy. Stacey said that hyphy sounded like a derogatory remark about a woman, as if a person combined the words heifer and wifey. Hahahaha. I love my family.

We also played mah jong, scrabble, and had a whole family game of double decker jenga. My grandpa even took a couple of turns playing jenga. Jason introduced the family to chopsticks jenga where you were allowed to use one or two chopsticks to clear an entire level. If the jenga tower was teetering on a single jenga piece because the sides were taken out, Jason would get rid of it by knocking it out quickly by swinging at it like a baseball bat with a chopstick. The piece would shoot out the side and the tower would drop one level down. If he didn’t hit the piece fast enough, the tower would topple. He also had a cool move where he stuck two chopsticks into the middle position hole and knock out the side pieces and clear that level. My grandpa sure got a kick out of that.

I was supposed to go snow boarding for the first time today, but the weather report didn’t look that great, so we canceled the trip. Instead I went out with my family and watched Narnia. We hung out and had some laughs. My bro and I have been catching up and dorking around. We had a face making contest, but of course we have been debating who won. Who do you think made the best faces?